She is Free

She is Free
Inspired by a dear friend

He didn't understand what was happening. 

The wretched heart was turning gold. 

Carefully, he turned the crystal clear, glass heart over in his hands. It had taken him years and years of work to get the clear whiteness of innocence to slowly change into gray. Another several years took the gray to black. All the while he had worked tirelessly at the stupid girl's mind. Whispering in her ear, weaving her dreams, placing longing's in her heart. When the glass heart turned completely black, he cried out with glee, immediately setting out to celebrate.

But he had acted too soon.

Gold. The color of the sky when the glaring sun made it's appearance in the mornings. This was the one color he never wanted to see in the little glass heart.

Gold.

He certainly wasn't doing it. He quickly turned to the girl's mind and could do nothing but gape. All the lies, all the dreams he had taken great care to place in her mind, they were all unraveling like someone taking apart a tapestry.

The girl wasn't alone. No, far from it!

The presence burnt at his skin, and blinded his eyes, wretched music pierced his ears. He quickly went to work and began to try and savior what he could of his web that was now burning away before him. But all the blasted girl wanted was more of the gold light. 

More of Him.

As he worked desperately he watched the glass heart, still in his hand, as more of the light ate away at the darkness that he had created. Faster than he thought possible, there wasn't a shadow of darkness left!

No! She was free!

He grasped the fragile thing and threw it as far from him as possible, hoping to break it in the process.

To his horror, the moment before it would break into a thousand pieces beyond repair, another caught it.

He met the other's eyes and growled with hate and loathing.
"Go." The other commanded. "You're work is finished here. She is free."

What Happens When I'm Bored

So I had a bit of free time, and this is what came out of it. Enjoy! ^_^

The white snowflakes fell gently on top of her head, landing on the brightly colored beanie she had on. Her long brown hair fell in waves down her back, also spotted with white flakes that gave it the look that she had diamonds sprinkled in her hair.

A smile crossed her lips as she trudged through the snow. As gracefully as a dancer, she jumped onto the side walk and opened the door to her favorite coffee shop known only as Perks.
Her order was taken at the front, and large, leather, comfy arm chair awaited her as she hung her coat up at the front of the shop, and made her way over to it, clutching her satchel to her side very carefully.
Once she had sat down, she pulled out something from the bag, ever so carefully as if the object might fall apart in her hands, or maybe it was just that she handled it with love because of how fond she was of the object. She let out a sigh of pure contentment as she opened the book, flipping gently to where she had left off. As soon as she read the first words, she was lost to the world she was in, she knew not of the mug sitting on the coffee table in front of her holding her favorite hot chocolate sprinkled with cinnamon. Her attention wasn't drawn to the fresh chocolate doughnut that was still warm, nor of the boy that sat a few chairs away, watching her with the slightest smile on his face. The smile grew wider as he watched her eyes aglow as they fluttered across those beloved pages, her facial expression changed quickly from one of confusion, to anger, to absolute adoration, until finally she sighed, set the book down on her lap and stared out the window. A melancholy look passed across her face as she finally noticed the cup of hot chocolate and raised it to her lips, just before she took a sip, her eyes peered over the top of the mug and met his, a look of recognition passed between the two and her eyes gave away the fact that she was smiling. 

On The Other Side

There was a hush inside the church, all that could be heard was the dry wind outside wiping up the African dust. Thirty children all colored ebony, sat quietly, and patiently for us, their eyes were the only things that moved as they followed our every move.

My sisters came over with their arms full of green and red boxes, all taped up with white tape that said, Samaritan's Purse in bold letters. I watched as their eyes grew wide in anticipation, one little girl broke the silence by giggling as Tabitha placed one of the precious boxes into the little girl's tiny hands.
A few moments later, all the children held their boxes on top of their heads in pride, as they started to sing 'Jesus Loves Me.'

My heart instantly became overwhelmed with a joy I had only felt a few times before. Tears found their way down my cheeks as I watched these precious little children sing from their hearts before they even opened the boxes! They were thankful to simply get the box, because just those red and green boxes meant so much. It wasn't what was inside them that made such an impact on them, it was that God was faithful and cared so, so much about each of these beautiful children that he would send them Christmas presents in April.

The next hour or so, was full of laughter, tears, and cries of joy. I witnessed just how much I, as a person from America, took things for granted. I saw children watch a top spin, and once it stopped they would spin it again and they never seemed to loose interest in it. Boys showed off their new Hot Wheels like it was their pride and joy. Girls were in awe as they gently plucked out their new dolls from their boxes, their fingers would gently touch the doll's hair wonder.
In one girl's box, everything was kept in by Ziploc bags, which made sense to me, so that space could be cut down by taking everything out of the packaging. But the poor girl didn't know what a Ziploc bag was! She didn't know the toys could come out of it.

All of it gave me a new understanding, and a new appreciation for all that God had blessed me with, but I didn't think much about it at the time, these moments weren't about me, they were about the children in front of me who were blessed in so many ways by the thoughtful families back in the United States who had spent one of their days picking out presents for them, and took the time to send it off.

It was amazing to think just how far these boxes had traveled. From an American's living room, they found themselves in the laps of thirty little children who had never even laid eyes on some of the things in those boxes, like Twizzlers, or glow sticks.

In an hour and a half, it was over, and the children started to pack up their toys back in their boxes, place them on top of their heads and walk out of the church. Even though it was over, the joy was still evident as they said 'thank you' to me, their pearly white teeth shined through as their smiles went from ear to ear. I can't fully express what a blessing it was for me that I was allowed to witness the opening of those Samaritan's Purse boxes, it was such a gift to me that I know I'll never be able to forget those smiles, and those excited squeals of joy. And every time I remember those faces, they will remind me never to take what I have for granted. 

Home

What would you do, if the only thing you had left of someone was ripped out of your arms? By a force that only wanted to hurt you, it lived for nothing else but your suffering? What would you do?
You'd go after it.

Most people, when they find that they have lost someone, deny it. Their new reality angers them, to the point that that anger boils up like a soup someone left on the stove and had forgotten about. Eventually it over flows. But for me, when I lost that someone, I did the only thing I could do.

I wrote.

It wasn't always like this. At some point in everyone's life there's a happy part, and if the person's lucky, maybe there are several parts. In my life, the happy parts were a sweet seasoning sprinkled out among the bad parts.

I guess I should start by showing you the setting, after all, what's a story with out a setting?


My home is a mesh of things. Cities with electricity, running hot water, cars, movie theaters, shopping malls and water parks dot the country. But drive an hour or two (or three or four depending on the traffic) and you're surrounded by wide open planes with tall grass that glows gold in the setting sun. Trees unique to the continent are sprinkled throughout the planes, you hardly ever see two together and it crosses your mind just how lonely it must be to not have any friends around.
At first glance, the savannah is peaceful. Serene. Like heaven's door just opened and you realize you could look at it until you went blind but you'd never be able to capture it all. Take a closer look.

It's teaming with life! Lions chasing down their next meal, cheetahs lazing about in the shade, leopards watching their cubs climb trees only to fall on their little heads in the end. Zebras roam the planes, enjoying the sweet grass, hippos splash playfully in the river.

And the savannahs are only a fraction of the continent, in fact they're the icing on the cake. The real jewel is the people that make the place what it is. Mamas walk down the dirt roads, balancing baskets of fruit or jugs of water on their heads, while they herd their children back towards home. Men pedal down the streets, shouting greetings to their friends as they pass by. Kids get up at the crack of dawn to start the hike to school several miles away.

It's all in the people. That's what makes up my home. The smiles, the tears, the fact that life is about making friendships and relationships, not about getting the work done. There's beauty here, just as much as there is danger. People look at my home from afar with their up turned noses and a concrete mind set that no one could live there. But let me tell you different; we don't just live, we thrive.

Welcome to the Dark Continent.

A New Cliff

In the past....year and a half? (Maybe a bit more) so many things have happened!
I went to boarding school, completely on my own, and grew up even faster. I turned 18. I went to Banquet with the sweetest guy. (My school's version of prom) I went for an entire week in the Maasai Mara, doing nothing but taking pictures of God's beautiful creations. And on top of all of that, I even went on my first date.

This time has been full of a thousand firsts and lasts. Everyone at RVA has done things like this several time, but I never have, and lucky me, I jump in at the end of it all. In away I'm glad, I get to come in just as all the fun starts up, but also I'm sad. Because just as I get use to it all, it comes to an end. All I can do is pray and try to see God's reasoning for allowing me to go through these things, but at the same time I realize I'm blessed that He allowed me to go through it all!

This next term (three months) are my last at RVA. It's hard to wrap my brain around, I feel like I just got there! and now I have to leave again. There are so many things I can't wait to do, like go to Mombasa for a few days with my class. Then there are things I can't wait to see what they're going to lead to, such as, what happens after a first date? And then there are things that I don't want to face, graduation, going back to the States on my own, having to fill out the long check list of things I need to accomplish once I get there.

Part of me can't believe I'm eighteen and headed for college. I remember days that were filled with dress up games, tea parties, and cuddle time with Daddy, like it was just yesterday. I never understood why my parents didn't want me to grow up, I mean lets face it, every kid want's to grow up. Until they have to.

Life is full of cliffs. And despite how much we argue with ourselves, and try to come up with other logical explanations, or point out how illogical what we have to do is, in the end all we can do is.....
             Jump.

That's what I'm standing at now, a cliff. It's tall, and the gorge is deep to the point it gets dark and I can't see anything. I can see the other side, but it's too far to jump by myself. There would be no way I could even have the slightest chance of even just my fingertips brushing the opposite cliff. But I know I have to jump, it's the only thing left to do. I can't go backwards, as much as I wish I could, I can't live in the past, the only thing left to do is go forward, and that means I have to jump.

Some things in life, you can't do by yourself, it's not physically, or emotionally possible. That's why you have to just trust God to take care of you. I'm learning how much I trust him with the little things, like with the date. I can't even begin to guess what is going to happen next! It could go absolutely no where, or it could take on wings of its own and soar into the sky. But I have no control over it at this point in time, so every night when fears threaten to consume the peace I have in my soul, I place what could happen in God's hand, say 'please take care of this for me' and then turn away from it. Not allowing myself to look back until God places it back in front of me and says 'see? this is what I have in store for you.'

Life is full of cliffs, and jumps. But all it takes is trusting God to give you wings, and soon you find that you can fly.

And The Plane Has Landed!

So here we are!
Sitting in Matuku Inn, in Uganda, and talking to some other missionary.
It was quite the adventure getting here, though.
We flew out from Tampa, Florida, and then to New York City, and from there we flew 13 hours to Dubai and spent the night there in a fancy hotel which was paid for when we bought the plane tickets.
And so from Dubai we flew 4 hours to Entebbe.

Jetlag has been pretty bad, it's crazy how messed up your body clock can get. Most of my family has woken up in middle of the night and read until they fell back asleep. Me however, I've actually slept through the night which is great, and then I force myself to stay awake until at least 9:00 at night.

So we're all pretty happy and content, glad to be back and we've hit the ground running. In just a few weeks I'm going to be headed up to Rift Valley Academy, the boarding school that I'll be going to for this next year, so it'll be quite the adventure.

Chapter 2

Chapter 2



Tirza had been enjoying the quiet outside while writing in her journal. She enjoyed hearing the birds chirping, and the people walking past the wall that surrounded the house. It was just a rich way of life that most people didn't stop to notice.

A horn blarred in front of the large gate. She watched as the gardner ran over and swung it open. Her jaw dropped as her dad's Land Crusier drove in. She picked up her things and ran around the corner and into the house.

"Mom!" She cried, setting her journal down on the coffee table in the living room.

"Yes dear?" Mrs. Hoffman asked from the kitchen.

"Why is Joshua Bennett here?" Tirza asked, her voice an octive higher than usual.

"Because both his parents, and your father and I thought it would be a good idea for him to spend the month with us. He was very worried when he heard about the plane crash." Her mom explained as she put a peacon pie into the oven.

"Well that's great and all but why couldn't he just have...called or something?"

Her mom turned and gave her a look that told Tirza her mom saw right through her. "You might want to look up Romans 15:7. It might help you through your rough spot."

Tirza groaned and leaned over the counter to look through the hole in the wall and watch as the guys unloaded Joshua's lugage.

"We also invited him so that mabye you two could work out your diffrences."

"Mom!" Tirza turned back to her with a frown.

"Oh don't act as if I don't know these things. I was sixteen once too. " Her mom winked at her before shooing her out of the kitchen. Tirza made a dash for her bedroom and quietly shut the door.

Sighing, she slumped down onto her bed. She looked around her bare room and her eyes fell on her Bible. Tirza reached over for it and flipped over to Romans.

"What was the verse mom mentioned?" She mumbled, but then a verse popped out because she had already highlighted it.

"'Romans 15:7, accept one another then just as Christ accepted you in order to bring praise to God.'" She sighed and set the Bible down and folded her hands in prayer, knowing she wouldn't be able to get over her uneasieness about Joshua with out God's help.

She honestly couldn't explain it. But ever since he started going to school at Rift Valley Academy, she was uneasy around him and didn't like it so she mostly avoided him. Though that was a bit hard to do since he was her brother's best friend and roommate. Eli couldn't understand it since Joshua was nothing but nice to her, and all she did in return was be snappy and play the 'Avoid Him At All Cost' game. Though she came to the conclusion that the reason why she always felt uneasy around him was because he had this way of starring at a person like he was trying to uncover their deepest secrets, and that did nothing but make her uncomfortable.

"Tirza, come out and greet our guest." Her mom called to her. Tirza sighed and set her Bible back down before pressing the wrinkles out of her lenin pants. She then walked out and moved out of her room and into the living room.

There, she was met with two boys that were catching up on the latest happenings.

"Hey Tirza," Joshua said, looking up at her with that unnerving gaze.

"Hi." She gave a little wave and then grabbed her journal from the coffee table.

"How have you been?"

"Um...better. I've been better." She answered, backing up near the door just incase she needed a quick escape route.

"Yeah, I'd imagine. But it sounds like you've all had some amazing adventures that God has used to strengthen your faith."

"Well that was mostly Eli. But...yeah." She nodded several times, gazing at everything but Joshua, but the silence hung over her like a knife. "Well great to see you, hope you two boys have fun. I will be in my room." She then made a fast exit and locked herself up in her room.

Joshua turned and looked at Eli.

"Did I say something?"

Eli rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Nah, Tirza's just weird."

　

.:+++:.

　

Tirza pulled out a well worn notebook from her desk and flipped through it. In there a thousand notes of encouragement gave her reasurence.

"Why can't I just be normal around him?!" She cried, slamming her head onto the desk.

"Tirza?"

She turned around and saw her brother standing respectfully at the doorway.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?" He stepped into the room, concern written on his face.

"Oh, yeah. Sort of. I'm just annoyed with myself."

"Well, Josh and I are walking down to the duka (small shop)/ Mom needs more Coke. Want to come?" Eli asked as he placed an old Mossy Oak baseballl cap on his head.

"...Sure." Tirza snatched up a kanga (light blanket) and wrapped it around her hips, covering her shorts.

Outside, the trio made their way down the dirt road. The boys continued talking about the lost rugby game. But that was a conversation Tirza had no interest of joining. So, after a few moments of walking in silence, she regreted having agreed to come along. Plus Joshua kept looking at her and it was making her uncomfortable.

"So, Tirza," Her gaze jerked from the mountian in the distance to his intense, screaming blue-eyed gaze.

"I saw a kindle on the counter, do you prefer those over real books Tirza?"

Other than the passing thought that wondered 'where the heck did that come from?' she answered instintly.

"Books. Tablets deprive you of so many joys, I can't stand them."

"Oh? and what joys do they deprive you of?"

Tirza glanced at the boy before answering. Wondering if he truly wanted to know or if it was just a filler conversation. She came to the conclusion that he was honestly interested. Eli, however, rolled his eyes and muttered "Oh boy" under his breath.

"Well for starters I like my bookmarks. I collect them, like turists collect magnets or keychains."

Joshua nodded in all seriousness so she took that as a sign to continue.

"I also like to see how far in the book I have to go -"

"Yes! and to get the satisfied feeling when you get to the end of the book and you can say 'I read all that.'"

"Right!" The fact that he made Tirza completely uncomfortable was forgotten momentarily. She was just happy to meet someone who understood her hatred against anything that tried to replace books.

"and you don't get to hear the pages turn, swiping a screen just doesn't do it for me." She said.

"I know what you mean. And books just have this...this smell. Especially old ones, like you just know they've traveld so far and somehow landed in your hands."

"Well why don't ya'll go on a date to the library," Eli cut in, shattering the mood. "But right now why don't you give me a hand with these?"

Tirza was snapped back to reality, though she couldn't wipe the smile off her face as she took a few glass Coke bottles from her brother.

.:+++:.

"So were you able to find some things you two have in common?" Mrs. Hoffman asked as she smashed up avacados with a fork.

"Well...at least one."

"Now that's an improvement! I"m glad you opened up, I know that's a difficult thing for you to do."

Tirza nodded in agreement as she flipped over a chapati (thick tortilla) on the gas stove.

"Well what do you guys have planed for break?"

"Uh...I have no clue. I assume the boys are going to godo something and get themselves hurt. While I plan to stay at home and get ahead in a few of my classes."

Her mom chuckled, making Tirza turn.

"You are so much like your father."

Tirza smiled and took the chapati off the pan.

"Go call the boys and tell them lunch is ready.:

Tirza took the plate of hot chapatis and hollered down the hall on her way to the dining room.

N sooner as they placed everything out on the table did the two boys come running like a pack of hyinas. Though they did wait paitently for the girls to sit down before they reached for hands and prayed. Butterflies errupted in Tirza's stomach when Joshua offered his hand. She noticed everyone waiting, so she hastily slid hers into his and tried to concentrate on Eli's prayer.

But the moment it was over, she let go of his hand and reached for a chapati.

"So where did Uncle Mark go?" JOshua asked as he attempted to pick up his ultra-stuffed burrito, but failed miserably, making Tirza chuckle under her breath.

"Not all of us can be awesome at burrito making you know." He whispered to her.

"He had a surprise flight he had to go on." Mrs. Hoffman answered.

"On a Saturday? That must be tough with your dad being a pilot and all." Josh admitted.

"You must not be able to see him much."

"Actually," Eli paused and swallowed before he continued. "It's awesome! He comes back with the most wild stories and the coolest trinkets. Some times he even takes us on flights with him."

Joshua's eyebrows rose.

"That is a pretty sweet gig."

"Yes, but it's not all fun times." Eli's mom cut in.

"Oh I didn't think it was Aunt Kassy. I looked into becoming a pilot a little while back. I know it isn't all it's hped up to be."

"You wanted to become a pilot?" Tirza was surprised, Joshua wasn't one she had pinned down as a pilot.

Josh nodded in answer to her question due to the bite in his mouth.

"No it's not." Aunt Kassy agreed. "He travels into the Sudan a lot so it can be very dangerous. Plus it's hard work even when he's not on a flight. Lots of plotting courses, looking at charts, paperwork as well. He's constantly learning new things order to be the best that he can. It's a very stressful job."

"So I heard. And it takes a lot to become a pilot too! I mean you have to spend so many years as a mechanic before you can move on, and I heard the pilot training can be very intense."

"Very intense." Eli agreed. "Like this one time -"

"I think Joshua can hear that some other time Eli." His mom inturrupted. "While we're not eating."

Everyone chuckled as they continued their meal.