Note: I'm not suicidal!

Note: I'm not suicidal!!! Yes, i know my last post was about a girl who was suicidal, but last night I had an urge to write a poem about a girl (or guy) who had problems and felt like her voice was silent. but it turns out that it wasn't. And she/he turns out alright in the end.
So i just wanted to explain that!

Changed

I've been chipped,

I've been ripped.

My heart has been dashed and 

broken.

My hopes are gone,

and worries have replaced them. 

"where are you God?!" I scream into the

night. 

"Do you even hear my prayers?!"  I say through the

tears. 

I wait for his answer. 

but I hear nothing. 

I see the knife,

I see the pills,

I see the gun.

"It would be so easier."  I think.

"And then my troubles would be gone." 

My finger curls around,

the triger,

the blade,

the pills

"Come home my child!!" 

I falter as the Lord speaks 

to me 

as clear as day.

"You have wondered 

for to long.

Come home. 

come home to me.

And I will make your 

life complete.

I will make you a 

blessing among men."

My life is turned 

around. 

My heart is sewen back

together

My scares, gone.

No one questions my

happiness.

I've finally broken

the chains.

I am whole. 

I am CHANGED!!

Joshua 1:9 says "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." 

my new favorite song and the message it gave me

I just listened to "Million Voices" by BarlowGirl. and it's an absoulutly AMAZING song!!
Their saying 'we're a million strong, and getting stronger still. They'll remember we WHERE HERE!!" and it's true. If we set our minds to something, we can make a change. I know you've probably heard this before and that your thinking 'oh no not this again.' but another verse says "we were made to start the riots, we were made to take on the impossible" and it's true. God wants us to change the world!! and through him we CAN! It may be hard at times but if you stop and think about how many people you would be saving. The reward would out weigh the cost!!! BY A TON!!
If we're silent, then who will stand up for those who cant?
If we don't have the strength, then who does?!
It has to start somewhere doesn't it?!
Why not here??
Why not now??!!

People are dying every day, and most of those people don't know Christ.
If no one preaches to them, how can they be taught??!!
If WE don't preach to them, we could be throwing people's lives away.
We have the world at our finger tips. and with God by our side, who can stand against us?! if we trust in him completely we can change the world, we can make people's pain die down. we can give people a REASON to live!!!
Ask yourselves this: Why am I just sitting  here, when I could be doing something that can change the fate of another's life?!?!

1 Peter 2:9
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

Official story synopsis!!! tell me what you guys think!

“Aidan?” the whisper said again. It was coming from the wall I was leaning on. I racked my brain to remember who was next to me. 

“Yeah?” I whispered back. 

“Get out of here!” this time I recognized Ryan’s voice. 

“No way. I’m not leaving you guys.” I answered. I could hear him scoff. 

“yeah sure, and when you end up dead, we’ll have to wait another thousand years in order to stop the Warriors.” he said sarcastically. 

“Ryan’s right.” That was Kali. She must be in the same cell as Ryan. 

“I am not leavin-”

“You didn’t let me finish.” she interrupted. I bit on my lip to keep from yelling out in frustration. “Your way more important then any of us. And you have to be the one to put the Warriors back in their place. You and only you! Not me, not Ryan. You!” 

how did I get drafted into this mess? Why me? Why now?

These are the questions that are bouncing back and forth in Aidan's mind. And it all started when he sent his sister's burnt body down the river to the words of her favorite love song in a bed of roses. 

After that he went with his hated father to Dilston Castle for "special trainning". when he passed the expectations of his teacher he was sent to the king himself. 

When he met the old frail king, he was thrusted into a game he had no will to play. All he wanted was his old life back. he didn't want the responsability of making sure that the other Clan's were on his side. But, if he wanted a peaceful life, he'd have to grit his teeth and pull through. 

or things would fall apart. 

The Warrior Clan is the arch enemy of almost every Clan. They're never welcome, but the other Clan's need some strong force to band them together. 

Is Adian's new found powers enough? 

Will he fail? 

Or will things turn out just fine?

With a new band of friends, which include the one and only Woodsy Princess, his best friend, and an annoying dark boy with a dark shadow of a past. 

The fate of their entire world, resides in their hands. 

How will it prevail?

Encouragement

Everybody knows that life is hard. 
but as a teen, it's especially hard. 


This week, we went to a home school convention. 
there we visited a place called College Plus. 
there they asked me what degree I wanted. that's when it really struck me. 
I wasn't going to be a kid anymore. 
I was going to grow up one day. 


At that moment, I'll admit I flipped. I had a general idea of what i wanted to do, but nothing was really decided. and I still have yet to decide. but I think the man asked the wrong question. 
He asked me "what do you want to do with your life?" 
He should have said "What do you feel like God want's you to do with your life?" 
this is the question I have been asking myself since I was 11. 


Now, I know I'm really good with words. And I love to write! and if I get the 'Best Seller's' award then hallelujah, praise be to God! 
but that's very unlikely. 


So now, it's up to me to figure out what God's focus is for me. 
and I plan on figuring it out, and I already have a feel on where he's taking me. 
I love the Missionary Field. and one day I would love to go back out there. Now that I am growing up, I can't just rely on my mom to take me there. 
now it's up to me to get there. 
And I have a good feeling about this. 
My mother suggested to me, that I join up with the on-field media. now i'm not so into the whole video taking, or editing it, but I would love to be a photographer. and getting out there taking tons of pictures. Maybe for a magazine, writing an aritcal with them. 


I just thought I would share with you all what i was heading for. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated! 


God bless!


ALiNe   

Hi ya'll!

Hi guys! 
well today has been better. I'm looking forward to the weekend cuz i'm going to Disney with my grandparents. so i'm really excited. today i bought a new pair of running shoes, which i needed. and i'm looking for a youth group. so hopefully i can make some friends that live close. I am also going to be taking Karate, (so there Mr. I'm-not-active-enough!! :P :D) so that's going to be good excersize, along with self-defense seeing as we don't have a man in the house anymore. but that's besides the point. 


I'm going to finish my first novel hopefully (God willing) by the end of the summer and hopefully be able to sell it on Amazon! :D eek i'm so excited! so yep, my week has been good. :) thanks for ya'll's prayers. 

The Lonlest Girl

I must be the lonlest girl on the planet! sure, i go around and make friends who live half way across the planet, or the US, or two hours away from home. i'm hardly in a good mood anymore. i barely have anyone to talk to anymore. i'm getting discuraged and depressed. and i don't think listening to 'on my own' from Les Miserables is helping very much. :( *big long sigh* well i just thought i should get everybody else gloomy....not really but i had to say something since nobody seems to be listening to me lately.... :'(
I miss home.