A New Cliff

In the past....year and a half? (Maybe a bit more) so many things have happened!
I went to boarding school, completely on my own, and grew up even faster. I turned 18. I went to Banquet with the sweetest guy. (My school's version of prom) I went for an entire week in the Maasai Mara, doing nothing but taking pictures of God's beautiful creations. And on top of all of that, I even went on my first date.

This time has been full of a thousand firsts and lasts. Everyone at RVA has done things like this several time, but I never have, and lucky me, I jump in at the end of it all. In away I'm glad, I get to come in just as all the fun starts up, but also I'm sad. Because just as I get use to it all, it comes to an end. All I can do is pray and try to see God's reasoning for allowing me to go through these things, but at the same time I realize I'm blessed that He allowed me to go through it all!

This next term (three months) are my last at RVA. It's hard to wrap my brain around, I feel like I just got there! and now I have to leave again. There are so many things I can't wait to do, like go to Mombasa for a few days with my class. Then there are things I can't wait to see what they're going to lead to, such as, what happens after a first date? And then there are things that I don't want to face, graduation, going back to the States on my own, having to fill out the long check list of things I need to accomplish once I get there.

Part of me can't believe I'm eighteen and headed for college. I remember days that were filled with dress up games, tea parties, and cuddle time with Daddy, like it was just yesterday. I never understood why my parents didn't want me to grow up, I mean lets face it, every kid want's to grow up. Until they have to.

Life is full of cliffs. And despite how much we argue with ourselves, and try to come up with other logical explanations, or point out how illogical what we have to do is, in the end all we can do is.....
             Jump.

That's what I'm standing at now, a cliff. It's tall, and the gorge is deep to the point it gets dark and I can't see anything. I can see the other side, but it's too far to jump by myself. There would be no way I could even have the slightest chance of even just my fingertips brushing the opposite cliff. But I know I have to jump, it's the only thing left to do. I can't go backwards, as much as I wish I could, I can't live in the past, the only thing left to do is go forward, and that means I have to jump.

Some things in life, you can't do by yourself, it's not physically, or emotionally possible. That's why you have to just trust God to take care of you. I'm learning how much I trust him with the little things, like with the date. I can't even begin to guess what is going to happen next! It could go absolutely no where, or it could take on wings of its own and soar into the sky. But I have no control over it at this point in time, so every night when fears threaten to consume the peace I have in my soul, I place what could happen in God's hand, say 'please take care of this for me' and then turn away from it. Not allowing myself to look back until God places it back in front of me and says 'see? this is what I have in store for you.'

Life is full of cliffs, and jumps. But all it takes is trusting God to give you wings, and soon you find that you can fly.